05. Starting Conversation with Myself

Staring at myself, believing in myself, loving myself, and relying on myself are of the highest stage of Self-Teaching.

If you make a friend of yourself, you are so lucky person who grab a golden         opportunity.
It's not your friend.
It's not your family.
It's not your lover.
It is you.
It is you who knows yourself best.

It is very difficult to truly know someone. As I know myself so well, I couldn't easily understand myself, which became the reason I couldn't forgive myself, making it far more difficult for me to love myself.

When someone reveals such inconsistencies inside myself, it gets me upset, outraged, and gets my self-respect wounded.

So I scream out louder, which gives me bigger disappointment on myself, falling into the fallacy of emotion, or the fallacy of a judgement which identifies myself with the situation regarding how to solve this situation, not knowing objective approach about how to deal with energy generated from the situation or technical approach about how to simplify the situation, letting "Little I" lead myself and holding "Big I" in a cage of ego, leaving myself in excuses, sadness and despair, in a vague hope that someone will help me, most people are leading their lives forgetting how to make conversations with themselves.

The best way for me to correct myself is starting conversation with myself, understanding myself and forgiving myself as much possible. I can love myself as much as I forgive myself. "I love myself" means "I have no fear", "I can become naked in front of shame", and "I can see a problem of unfulfillment or deficiency as it is so that I can step out from the fallacy which identifies myself with my situation".

To start conversation with myself is to start communication with myself, to prepare for communication with other people, and to start conversation with all living creatures and expression‎ of love toward them.

Inwardly, today's Udeka silently starts talking to Udeka.

Hey, Udeka! You are being so narrow-minded today. Please, take a look at where the energies were coming from. Those energies are fear and dregs of emotion that you created. They stay in your deep unconsciousness which makes it impossible for you to recognize, when you encounter the same circumstances, the same conditions, and similar situations, they reveal themselves. There are no problems with the person who gave you a displeasure that you felt and the situation that you got offended.

The person and the situation that you got offended have been in existence and will be in the future. There is nothing wrong with everything and everyone is very good at studying, doing his best at his respective level of learning.

Please, Udeka, recognize that the negative energy which is staying inside you is more of a problem.

If you remember it, please take courage and release the energy without hesitation! And then separate the energy from you and take it out!

You will be free from the energy which has offended you forever!

Udeka writes.